A Morning Ritual to Combat Negative Monkey Mind

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It’s only fair to warn you upfront, this post is not actually about cute sleepy pugs ūüėč

I’ve recently realised¬†that I have an extremely¬†active, extremely negative monkey mind.¬†It¬†starts THE VERY SECOND I gain consciousness in the mornings before I barely even realise what’s happening!

The first thing I do upon waking, like most people, is recollect what I am doing that day and what are the most significant things I am doing that week.

And like most people, I am not doing a job I especially like, so what happens next is a rush of negative emotions and thoughts:

“Oh NO I have to go back there today ūüėĘ
This isn’t what I wanted to be doing with my life,
but I¬†can’t figure out an alternative career.
I am a failure.
I feel exhausted and ill.
I feel weak.
I feel so sad.
I’m unhealthy.
There’s something wrong with me.
I don’t want to be here”

Before I’ve even realised quite what’s going on, I feel – to put it bluntly – like¬†shit.

I then think “well I should meditate or recite a¬†positive affirmation to raise my vibration” but by this point I feel so anxious and depressed that I can’t muster up the energy; and more interestingly, I don’t WANT to feel better because now I feel annoyed with myself. I don’t DESERVE to feel good about myself.

So! The last few days I have made myself change things up.

I have forced myself to recite an affirmation. Even if I really don’t want to, even if I really don’t believe it, I commit to trying.

I breathe deeply, and I say:
“I am healthy.
I am happy.
I am prosperous”.

And guys, honestly, I DO feel a shift. I do feel lighter.

This works.

I have found the last few days easier to deal with, and I even came up with my new project #FindingMySpark which I launched that very same day!

I wanted to share this because if it helps me then it could really make a difference for you too!

  1. Notice your self-talk first thing upon waking.
  2. Choose an affirmation which resonates with you and your particular worries or negative self-beliefs.
  3. Repeat it silently to yourself, as many times as you like.
  4. Your ‘ego’ / monkey mind will tell you not to bother, you aren’t worthy or you don’t have the energy. Tell yourself this: “I will try it anyway, because you never know”.
  5. If nothing happens the first, second, third morning, please keep trying. Everyone’s journey moves at a different pace.

If you can readjust your energy even just a little bit, you are giving yourself a much better chance of getting through the day in a less mentally and emotionally damaging way.

And if you DO like my affirmation then I created this little pic for you to save and share ūüôŹ

Affirmation

Let me know how you get on! xxx

#FindingMySpark

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Today I am starting a new project, and I would LOVE for you to join me!

I have been feeling constantly¬†exhausted and¬†apathetic over the last few months. I’ve been eating a lazier diet, drinking more red wine, gaining weight, feeling physically ill literally every day and living in a constant state of anxiety, lethargy and insomnia. Clearly something isn’t right. But the worst part is, I don’t know how to fix it.

I already take anti-depressants to aid depression and anxiety, and am in recovery from my dermatillomania. So having days where I don’t feel great, or inspired, or I don’t feel¬†anything at all, is to be expected.

In addition, I have a life purpose problem. I desire Рand, if I may venture to sound a bit confident in myself just for a minute РI feel intuitively that I am here to contribute to the world in some meaningful way.

Trouble is,¬†I don’t know how. People say¬†“do what lights you up”¬†but I haven’t found that spark. And trust me, I’ve been really looking for it, for a really long time, in many different places.

And then this idea came to me today:

Every day I will post on Twitter (and if it’s a picture I’ll post it on Insta too) a thing that has made me feel a bit of a spark during that¬†day.

My ‘why’ for this is threefold:

First – over time, providing I am consistent with posting at least once a day – which in itself will feel like a massive effort – I will¬†build up a picture of the¬†recurrent themes, topics, role models, etc which have given me a little bit of that “what lights you up” feeling. I am hoping that this information will in itself trigger a bigger lightbulb moment in terms of my own personal purpose and what makes me feel passionate.

Second –¬†it will be like a¬†happiness/inspiration diary that I can look back on and give me nice feelz ūüėä

Three – I believe that honesty and transparency about mental health and these bigger life questions helps to unite people globally.

I am going to be honest if I don’t feel anything at all, or I feel crap, or I don’t feel¬†a spark. Why force it? I want to cover the whole gamut of emotion within inspiration and purpose.

So how does this involve you? 

Because I would love you to get involved too!

Share with me, and with others, what made you feel something today.

Lets help everyone who knows they have a greater purpose than the life they are living right now, but can’t figure it out.

Lets help the people who are feeling lost or apathetic or purposeless.

Lets help those whom don’t feel anything at all today.

Because my philosophy is anything’s worth a try, right?

Use the hashtag #findingmyspark – and either hashtag me with #freedombirdie and/or tag me on¬†@freedombirdie¬†on Twitter and @freedom_birdie on Insta so I can follow your journeys. And let’s start sharing!

I can’t wait to get started! xxx

 

Reframing Mondays

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Scratch. Cling. Scream. Desperate. Sad.

These are all words I just typed into a¬†search engine, looking for an appropriate image for this blog post¬†that would accurately portray¬†my feelings right now (p.s. that’d be the one above).

It’s Sunday evening. And I am clawing at the remnants of¬†the day – no actually I am clinging onto it for¬†dear life. My fingers are bloodied and torn. I am screaming these awful, gutteral, painful howls as panic rips through my insides. I am pleading hysterically “please, please, please don’t leave me!”.

I don’t want today to end, because I don’t want Monday to come.

It’s not like¬†I have an awful Monday planned: I’m not going to a funeral, or into hospital. It’s just another day in a temp job.¬†But for someone who’s been trying to transition OUT of that lifestyle and into a life and a career I love, for many years, it’s the same. old. shit. ¬†and it can frequently feel maddeningly frustrating.

I know some will¬†tell me to be grateful, to get real, to suck it up. All I can say is, I’m an INFJ (or an INFP depending on the day): I need engagement and fulfilment in my work. I am¬†trying my hardest to make that a reality,but in the meantime the days spent¬†doing monotonous and menial tasks¬†feel like my life is going down the toilet.

I’ve realised that, actually,¬†what makes an impending Monday worse is that on Sunday night¬†I start to get REALLY¬†mean with myself about how I’ve spent my weekend.

“You haven’t worked hard enough this weekend to change things. You took a break to have that nap / take¬†that bath / watch that show.¬†You sit here immobilised by your fears and your obstacles¬†and your laziness and¬†then you get upset¬†that things aren’t changing. Your efforts are crap. Your energy levels are¬†pitiful. You think you’re brave and ambitious and determined, you’re delusional love!!”.

So tonight I thought I’d try and reframe my thoughts. It worked and I’d like to share it with you.

*I have done the best that I could*
*I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now*
*A new day, and a new week, is a new opportunity*
*Monday HAS to come so I can take one step closer to my dreams*
*Monday will be GREAT because I will be one step closer to my dreams*

Just give this a try and see how you feel afterwards. I can’t say I feel amazingly joyous, but I feel less rooted-in-misery-and-fear than I did 10 minutes ago. I was lying on my bed face down half-heartedly clutching¬†a crystal, feeling paralysed in sadness and hopelessness. And now I feel…accepting of what is. And even, dare I say it, almost ok with it? I mean, if it’s going to bring me a step closer to my dreams, then that’s ok isn’t it?

After all, there’s no point wishing Monday isn’t going to come. But we’ve survived this many of them, we can survive another one.

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from Sunny DE Blog