How I Manifested £100 (& a lil’ more Self-Love) in 5 Days

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Hi everyone,

If you follow me on social media you’ll know that on Saturday 15th October I started asking for tips on how to utilise the Law of Attraction to manifest money FAST.

You see, I wanted to go to VegFest in London on Saturday 22nd October. I already had 2 tickets; but I had no money for the train fare or to actually buy anything with.

Now I know there are many more critical or useful uses for £100. But I’ve had a difficult time recently and, apart from sitting at home feeling sad, this was all I had to focus on and look forward to.

So I took myself on a crash course of Law of Attraction. Here are the steps I took:

  • I started reading Denise Duffield Thomas’ book, ‘Get Rich Lucky Bitch’. I only got midway through but as I went along I applied everything she advises: I made lists of people, situations and my own actions which I needed to forgive – whether they were related to money or not I wrote them all down and then I repeated the forgiveness mantra “I forgive you. I’m sorry. And I love you” for each and every one.
  • I watched VegFest videos from last year’s event and really visualised myself attending; the excitement walking through the entrance, exploring all the stalls, giving my money to friendly stallholders and feeling great about it, tasting beautiful food, vlogging the day and making a brilliant video for my YouTube channel.
  • I found some affirmation videos on YouTube and played them either whilst meditating or whilst doing other things. This ‘500 Affirmations’ was my absolute favourite. If I was meditating, I’d hold a £5 note which I’d sniff (Denise’s recommendation!) and feel between my fingers, to get used to enjoy having money.
  • I looked to Instagram for positive money affirmations and saved a bunch on my phone to look at regularly and memorise. I particularly loved @MyMoneyMogul for this.
  • I tried to be super mindful of what I was saying and thinking. I didn’t discuss what I was doing with anybody, so that neither they (or I) would cast doubt on my process.
  • At the same time as all this I tried to remain mindful of any intuitive pulls I was receiving, as these might be the practical steps needed to help the money flow to me.

Taking all these steps I managed to become really confident that I was meant to go, and that it was OK for me to have this money for this (some might say trivial) purpose, and it seemed such a certainty that I would go.

In the end, a number of items I was trying to sell DID sell, and I had the money I needed within 5 days. And just as I imagined, this happened!

I also found that this process, and Denise’s book especially, is not just about money. It’s about forgiving yourself, and others, and yourself some more. It’s about believing in your own self worth, believing that you deserve. Increasing your self love.

For those reasons alone I say if you are sceptical of the Law of Attraction it is STILL worth exploring it and doing the work. I felt so good about me, so worthy, so filled up with love for myself, that was an even greater feeling than accumulating the money.

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A Morning Ritual to Combat Negative Monkey Mind

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It’s only fair to warn you upfront, this post is not actually about cute sleepy pugs 😋

I’ve recently realised that I have an extremely active, extremely negative monkey mind. It starts THE VERY SECOND I gain consciousness in the mornings before I barely even realise what’s happening!

The first thing I do upon waking, like most people, is recollect what I am doing that day and what are the most significant things I am doing that week.

And like most people, I am not doing a job I especially like, so what happens next is a rush of negative emotions and thoughts:

“Oh NO I have to go back there today 😢
This isn’t what I wanted to be doing with my life,
but I can’t figure out an alternative career.
I am a failure.
I feel exhausted and ill.
I feel weak.
I feel so sad.
I’m unhealthy.
There’s something wrong with me.
I don’t want to be here”

Before I’ve even realised quite what’s going on, I feel – to put it bluntly – like shit.

I then think “well I should meditate or recite a positive affirmation to raise my vibration” but by this point I feel so anxious and depressed that I can’t muster up the energy; and more interestingly, I don’t WANT to feel better because now I feel annoyed with myself. I don’t DESERVE to feel good about myself.

So! The last few days I have made myself change things up.

I have forced myself to recite an affirmation. Even if I really don’t want to, even if I really don’t believe it, I commit to trying.

I breathe deeply, and I say:
“I am healthy.
I am happy.
I am prosperous”.

And guys, honestly, I DO feel a shift. I do feel lighter.

This works.

I have found the last few days easier to deal with, and I even came up with my new project #FindingMySpark which I launched that very same day!

I wanted to share this because if it helps me then it could really make a difference for you too!

  1. Notice your self-talk first thing upon waking.
  2. Choose an affirmation which resonates with you and your particular worries or negative self-beliefs.
  3. Repeat it silently to yourself, as many times as you like.
  4. Your ‘ego’ / monkey mind will tell you not to bother, you aren’t worthy or you don’t have the energy. Tell yourself this: “I will try it anyway, because you never know”.
  5. If nothing happens the first, second, third morning, please keep trying. Everyone’s journey moves at a different pace.

If you can readjust your energy even just a little bit, you are giving yourself a much better chance of getting through the day in a less mentally and emotionally damaging way.

And if you DO like my affirmation then I created this little pic for you to save and share 🙏

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Let me know how you get on! xxx

#FindingMySpark

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Today I am starting a new project, and I would LOVE for you to join me!

I have been feeling constantly exhausted and apathetic over the last few months. I’ve been eating a lazier diet, drinking more red wine, gaining weight, feeling physically ill literally every day and living in a constant state of anxiety, lethargy and insomnia. Clearly something isn’t right. But the worst part is, I don’t know how to fix it.

I already take anti-depressants to aid depression and anxiety, and am in recovery from my dermatillomania. So having days where I don’t feel great, or inspired, or I don’t feel anything at all, is to be expected.

In addition, I have a life purpose problem. I desire – and, if I may venture to sound a bit confident in myself just for a minute – I feel intuitively that I am here to contribute to the world in some meaningful way.

Trouble is, I don’t know how. People say “do what lights you up” but I haven’t found that spark. And trust me, I’ve been really looking for it, for a really long time, in many different places.

And then this idea came to me today:

Every day I will post on Twitter (and if it’s a picture I’ll post it on Insta too) a thing that has made me feel a bit of a spark during that day.

My ‘why’ for this is threefold:

First – over time, providing I am consistent with posting at least once a day – which in itself will feel like a massive effort – I will build up a picture of the recurrent themes, topics, role models, etc which have given me a little bit of that “what lights you up” feeling. I am hoping that this information will in itself trigger a bigger lightbulb moment in terms of my own personal purpose and what makes me feel passionate.

Second – it will be like a happiness/inspiration diary that I can look back on and give me nice feelz 😊

Three – I believe that honesty and transparency about mental health and these bigger life questions helps to unite people globally.

I am going to be honest if I don’t feel anything at all, or I feel crap, or I don’t feel a spark. Why force it? I want to cover the whole gamut of emotion within inspiration and purpose.

So how does this involve you? 

Because I would love you to get involved too!

Share with me, and with others, what made you feel something today.

Lets help everyone who knows they have a greater purpose than the life they are living right now, but can’t figure it out.

Lets help the people who are feeling lost or apathetic or purposeless.

Lets help those whom don’t feel anything at all today.

Because my philosophy is anything’s worth a try, right?

Use the hashtag #findingmyspark – and either hashtag me with #freedombirdie and/or tag me on @freedombirdie on Twitter and @freedom_birdie on Insta so I can follow your journeys. And let’s start sharing!

I can’t wait to get started! xxx

 

‘Lucky Bitch’: Me, Money + Mental Health

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Once upon a time, I thought I was pretty clued up on the Law of Attraction.

The theory of it, anyway. I knew what I had to do. I had listened to some free ‘manifesting’ meditations on YouTube, and read a couple of books. The process was this: I had to be specific about my desires, visualise them, feel them as though it’s already in my life, release it and then receive it!

I had a few little successes but on the whole I was finding myself forever worrying about money and scouring the pavement everywhere I went looking for loose change.

If I’m being painfully honest, I couldn’t be bothered to put any further effort into it. I just wanted to make a wish and have thousands of pounds deposited into my bank, thanks very much.

So anyway – something switched very recently. Call it intuition, call it divine guidance, call it frustration from scouring the pavement lol. I abandoned my ’99p or under’ rule for Kindle books and spent a whole £8.03 on ‘Get Rich, Lucky Bitch’ by Denise Duffield-Thomas.

I am not far into the book yet but one of the most important exercises you must do, according to Denise, is to face all of your beliefs, feelings and memories about money square in the eye. So that you can then “declutter” those that are not serving you.

This morning whilst in meditation I visualised my spirit team all around me (for moral support lol) and a large basket in front of me, and I started offloading all my thoughts about money into the basket. (By the way this is a great technique if you want to offload/release anything anytime you are worried, fearful etc). 

It was not long before I realised something that I would say probably has raaaather a lot to do with my lack of manifesting success. And which is also embarrassingly obvious!

You know my previous blog posts, where I have discussed how many years I’ve spent feeling trapped in jobs I couldn’t stand, which affected my mental and physical wellbeing and felt like a waste of my life? Where I expound my belief that we should dream big, and disregard the societal norm to suffer a job because “that’s the way it is”, and work towards an authentic and fulfilling job and life?

Well that is indeed admirable. Unfortunately, underlying it is a belief which is completely contradictory:

The only way I have managed to earn money is doing things that make me unwell, unhappy, depressed, anxious and even suicidal.

And therefore:

Earning money makes me unhappy, depressed, anxious and even suicidal.

So yeah. No wonder I struggle to manifest riches! Deep down I believe that acquiring money could kill me!

I was pretty overwhelmed by this realisation. It’s fantastic to have realised it though. Realising it is the first step towards overcoming it.

I suspect there may be many, many others in my shoes – those with mental health issues like mine especially – who deep down have the same fear.

Do you recognise this belief in yourself? If you have already found this to be one of your belief, what has your journey been like since you made that discovery?

How a Rose Quartz Helped My Mental Health

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Photo by Adam Dachis

As you may know, I explored and adopted various spiritual practices and principles when I was first diagnosed with depression some 7-8 years ago.

But I never “got” crystals.

I’d collected the bog standard ones that beginners often get, Rose Quartz for love, Aventurine for the heart chakra, Blue Lace Agate for the throat chakra. But I didn’t feel anything when I held them, and I ended up leaving them in a drawer.

Then last year I randomly bought a beautiful piece of blue Celestite. The first time I meditated with it in my hand, I felt different. Clearer, calmer and more connected (and more inclined towards alliteration lol). This prompted me to dig out the crystals I’d bought and look for more that might help me with the specific issues I was having.

Fast forward to 4 weeks ago. I am a total mess.

My dermatillomania is the worst it’s been in years (for those who haven’t heard of it, it’s also known as a Repetitive Body Focused Behaviour, or Compulsive Skin-Picking). I am having CBT which has helped me understand the condition and given me more motivation and accountability to stop, but only I can resist the urge and kick the habit and I am really, really struggling. In fact it’s getting so bad that I am having panic attacks over it. In public.

So this one night, 4 weeks ago, I was feeling extremely down about it all. I was getting ready for bed and putting my gloves on so I wouldn’t pick in my sleep. And I randomly decided to pop my old Rose Quartz inside the glove on my left hand. Silently, and probably rather half-heartedly because I didn’t have the energy at that point to fight, I asked it to help me feel better.

The next morning, I woke up, and I didn’t pick.

At midday I texted my therapist to say OMG I haven’t picked yet today. I was so proud. More than that, I was astonished. I had not been able to resist picking for this many hours, for almost a year.

I have not picked since that night.

I have not picked for four weeks.

Frankly, it feels like nothing short of a miracle. It was literally overnight. I went to bed a compulsive skin-picker, and woke up reformed. (There is a theory that we are more open to spiritual healing when we’re asleep). I retained the habit of feeling my skin for imperfections (although that has lessened massively over time) but I literally had no interest in picking anymore.

When I next saw my therapist I felt squirmy at how little involvement I had had in this miraculous recovery. She quickly told me that I had had a massive amount to do with it, which of course is true. I had had months of CBT prior to it. I had reached a point of desperation which led to determination to quit. I had tried and tried and tried again.

I can’t promise this will happen to everyone. And I can’t explain exactly what happened. But it’s worth a try. Try it for anything you are going through, any mental health concerns you may have.

And if it doesn’t work the first time, persevere. Because we are all at different stages of spiritual openness. There’s no rules to if, when or how it can work so don’t beat yourself up. It can be a process, or it can be instant.

I wish you love, light and hope.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to have a ‘Me Hour’

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I decided today that I urgently needed a ‘Me Hour’ (which is something I made up on the spot).

The rules for ‘Me Hour’ were threefold:

  1. Don’t think about any worries, problems, responsibilities, decisions, people, injustices, frustrations.
  2. Don’t compare myself to anybody else.
  3. Don’t continue any thought which begins with the phase “I should be…”

I set a timer, and then I put my computer and phone to one side.

I ran a bath telling myself not to feel guilt for using my last limited edition bath bomb instead of saving it for a ‘special occasion’.

I didn’t pressure myself to use the time to visualise, dream, pray, manifest, plan, connect to my Higher Self/guardian angels, analyse, strategise or decide.

Every time a thought floated in which breached these rules, I floated it out again. I acknowledged the aches and pains in my body but without analysis. If I received any intuitive guidance, without any ‘trying’ on my part, I allowed it.

I bathed in silence.

When the hour was up, I took Baxter for a walk. I strode around our usual route and felt so different to usual. I felt grateful and strong and powerful. I felt more connected, more energy and more faith.

I know alone time is an elusive luxury for many. But I hope you may find time, and schedule it into your weekly planner if possible, to gift yourself this opportunity to come back to yourself.

After all….

 

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What am I doing? Mid-January edition!

 

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Let’s dive straight in 😀

I AM… getting my Leonie Dawson on.

I got the Leonie Dawson 2016 Life Workbook and Weekly Planner for Christmas, and I am committing a bit of time every weekend to filling the Workbook out and making plans in the Planner.

I haven’t been strict enough with myself to make specific goals that actually push me forwards. I am feeling the call to do so, but I’m hiding in my cocoon. I need to be brave, strong, and more determined about my dreams!

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Here I am in the bath!

I AM… keeping a daily diary.

I’ve tried to do this before and it never lasts, but so far I only have 4 unfilled pages!

I am trying it out so I can get my feelings down on paper as all too often I hold them in. And also so that I can record any spiritual happenings or guidance, dreams and signs that happen.

I AM… seeing a lot of unicorns!

Speaking of signs… So, elementals. I’ve not been that interested in the past; they’re a bit too ‘woo woo’ for me.

But the past 1.5-2 weeks I’ve seen unicorns everywhere! Yes I know if you follow anything spiritual on social media you’re bound to see unicorns, but it all actually started with a unicorn appearing in my meditation one day and since then I’ve seen them literally all over the place.

Apparently, unicorns assist with self-belief and faith, hope, the imagination and healing. All of which I would say are themes for me ☺️

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I AM… reading ‘Soul Shifts’ by Barbara de Angelis.

And it is wonderful. Barbara creates the image that your Higher Self is a temple and I LOVE that. It resonates.

You are a Seer rather than a Seeker of your own wisdom. You merely need to understand that everything you’re searching for – which in my case is my life purpose and satisfying that horrible feeling that I’m here to DO something but I don’t remember what – is within you already. You just need to open yourself to it.

Since reading this I’ve had some vivid dreams and felt shifts to my thoughts and my energy, so I know it is penetrating at a deep soul level and I can’t wait to see what happens as I continue into the book.

I AM… rewatching Ab Fab.

Lately I seem to enjoy rewatching old classics over discovering new shows. So I found Ab Fab on Netflix Australia and have had a good binge.

Watching it now I’m older I can better appreciate the fantastic writing by Jennifer Saunders and the acting of all the cast but particularly Joanna Lumley as Patsy; I’ve since seen her out of character in numerous documentaries and she’s so poised and classy in real life, this just makes her performance more fascinating and her comedic skills more impressive!

I also sit here gobsmacked at how incredibly abusive Eddy is towards her daughter Saffy, I take it for what it is of course (i.e. not real!) but my HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) side feels too deeply for the Saffy character. Ah the trials of being so sensitive!

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That’s all for now! I’ll be back next week, it’s in the weekly planner 😄🙏