To Those Wishing They Weren’t In The World

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I wrote this based on how I felt today when I woke up.

I dedicate it to those who feel the same.
The depressed, anxious, stressed, alone, frightened, grieving and broken-hearted.
We are all One. I am with you. I understand.

May You Rise.

xxx

Waking up Wishing I Weren’t in the World

When I woke up this morning, I wished I wasn’t here.
It’s not that I want death – it’s nothing that severe.
I’m not suicidal. I just want time to cease
So I can un-exist a while, and find a little peace.
All of my life’s burdens weigh heavy on my heart,
Though I do try to be grateful for every little part.
I don’t feel I can tell this to anyone I know
but I do not feel well, I feel trapped and I feel low.
My problems swirl around in my overactive mind.
I cannot find the answers but I cannot be resigned.
And so I fight. And so I tire. And so I crave respite.
The cycle just repeats, round and round, day and night.
But though it feels the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
I decide to lift the covers and let the sunlight through.
And though my eyes are teary and inside I am distraught
I resolve that I will sit up despite my heavy thoughts.
And though I cannot bear to think about the day,
I stand. And just a tiny bit of turmoil goes away.
And though I feel a failure, and I’m lost, and I’m afraid
That every morning I will feel this very same way,
I know that things get better. Life goes up and down.
And there would be hearts broken, if I were not around.
So though my heart is hurting and I long for silent rest,
I decide that I will rise, and I will do my best.

xxx

Bethany