#FindingMySpark

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Today I am starting a new project, and I would LOVE for you to join me!

I have been feeling constantly exhausted and apathetic over the last few months. I’ve been eating a lazier diet, drinking more red wine, gaining weight, feeling physically ill literally every day and living in a constant state of anxiety, lethargy and insomnia. Clearly something isn’t right. But the worst part is, I don’t know how to fix it.

I already take anti-depressants to aid depression and anxiety, and am in recovery from my dermatillomania. So having days where I don’t feel great, or inspired, or I don’t feel anything at all, is to be expected.

In addition, I have a life purpose problem. I desire – and, if I may venture to sound a bit confident in myself just for a minute – I feel intuitively that I am here to contribute to the world in some meaningful way.

Trouble is, I don’t know how. People say “do what lights you up” but I haven’t found that spark. And trust me, I’ve been really looking for it, for a really long time, in many different places.

And then this idea came to me today:

Every day I will post on Twitter (and if it’s a picture I’ll post it on Insta too) a thing that has made me feel a bit of a spark during that day.

My ‘why’ for this is threefold:

First – over time, providing I am consistent with posting at least once a day – which in itself will feel like a massive effort – I will build up a picture of the recurrent themes, topics, role models, etc which have given me a little bit of that “what lights you up” feeling. I am hoping that this information will in itself trigger a bigger lightbulb moment in terms of my own personal purpose and what makes me feel passionate.

Second – it will be like a happiness/inspiration diary that I can look back on and give me nice feelz 😊

Three – I believe that honesty and transparency about mental health and these bigger life questions helps to unite people globally.

I am going to be honest if I don’t feel anything at all, or I feel crap, or I don’t feel a spark. Why force it? I want to cover the whole gamut of emotion within inspiration and purpose.

So how does this involve you? 

Because I would love you to get involved too!

Share with me, and with others, what made you feel something today.

Lets help everyone who knows they have a greater purpose than the life they are living right now, but can’t figure it out.

Lets help the people who are feeling lost or apathetic or purposeless.

Lets help those whom don’t feel anything at all today.

Because my philosophy is anything’s worth a try, right?

Use the hashtag #findingmyspark – and either hashtag me with #freedombirdie and/or tag me on @freedombirdie on Twitter and @freedom_birdie on Insta so I can follow your journeys. And let’s start sharing!

I can’t wait to get started! xxx

 

What am I doing? Mid-January edition!

 

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Let’s dive straight in 😀

I AM… getting my Leonie Dawson on.

I got the Leonie Dawson 2016 Life Workbook and Weekly Planner for Christmas, and I am committing a bit of time every weekend to filling the Workbook out and making plans in the Planner.

I haven’t been strict enough with myself to make specific goals that actually push me forwards. I am feeling the call to do so, but I’m hiding in my cocoon. I need to be brave, strong, and more determined about my dreams!

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Here I am in the bath!

I AM… keeping a daily diary.

I’ve tried to do this before and it never lasts, but so far I only have 4 unfilled pages!

I am trying it out so I can get my feelings down on paper as all too often I hold them in. And also so that I can record any spiritual happenings or guidance, dreams and signs that happen.

I AM… seeing a lot of unicorns!

Speaking of signs… So, elementals. I’ve not been that interested in the past; they’re a bit too ‘woo woo’ for me.

But the past 1.5-2 weeks I’ve seen unicorns everywhere! Yes I know if you follow anything spiritual on social media you’re bound to see unicorns, but it all actually started with a unicorn appearing in my meditation one day and since then I’ve seen them literally all over the place.

Apparently, unicorns assist with self-belief and faith, hope, the imagination and healing. All of which I would say are themes for me ☺️

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I AM… reading ‘Soul Shifts’ by Barbara de Angelis.

And it is wonderful. Barbara creates the image that your Higher Self is a temple and I LOVE that. It resonates.

You are a Seer rather than a Seeker of your own wisdom. You merely need to understand that everything you’re searching for – which in my case is my life purpose and satisfying that horrible feeling that I’m here to DO something but I don’t remember what – is within you already. You just need to open yourself to it.

Since reading this I’ve had some vivid dreams and felt shifts to my thoughts and my energy, so I know it is penetrating at a deep soul level and I can’t wait to see what happens as I continue into the book.

I AM… rewatching Ab Fab.

Lately I seem to enjoy rewatching old classics over discovering new shows. So I found Ab Fab on Netflix Australia and have had a good binge.

Watching it now I’m older I can better appreciate the fantastic writing by Jennifer Saunders and the acting of all the cast but particularly Joanna Lumley as Patsy; I’ve since seen her out of character in numerous documentaries and she’s so poised and classy in real life, this just makes her performance more fascinating and her comedic skills more impressive!

I also sit here gobsmacked at how incredibly abusive Eddy is towards her daughter Saffy, I take it for what it is of course (i.e. not real!) but my HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) side feels too deeply for the Saffy character. Ah the trials of being so sensitive!

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That’s all for now! I’ll be back next week, it’s in the weekly planner 😄🙏

My Laughing Place: how Disney World makes me smile again

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I am feeling much better today thanks to some lovely comments on yesterday’s blog post and reading my new book “Women Who Run With The Wolves” (I’m in love!).

What has also helped is thinking about my happiest memories. Whenever I am having a really crap time I start to think about our family vacay’s to Orlando and how much of a laugh we always have.

I wrote about this in “My Soul Inspiration: Disney World” last year. Being there connects me back to my inner child and remind me I’m not an idiot for having dreams and an imagination. It renews my hope.

Me with Minnie at Magic Kingdom, the first day of our holiday in 2014

My procedure for getting all Disney-ish goes like this:
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I stick on a Disney World parks music playlist such as this and straight away my mood lifts! In fact while you read the rest of this post, why not play this track in the background? It’s one of my favourites!

A few years ago, during another very long very rough patch, I downloaded a ton of these songs and would listen to them on my way to work whilst visualising my family and I there again, and I would pray that my angels and the Law of Attraction would make it happen. (It worked – we went back in 2014!).

Magic Kingdom on our last day, 2014

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I also LOVE watching videos taken round the parks. Either on rides from the rider’s POV (point of view), walks around the parks or people’s vlog diaries. Pretty much anything! This video below is of a meet and greet with Gaston from ‘Beauty & The Beast’, I didn’t meet him on my trip I would try to next time. He’s a funny character to meet, good banter!

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The other thing I do is peruse the various Disney tourist blogs and forums for rumours and reports on new attractions, restaurant recommendations, vacay planning tips and other people’s photo trip reports. I get really excited like I am going back myself!

My favourite is The Dibb, so much so I have it on my Bookmarks Bar 🙂 If you are actually going to Orlando anytime soon go to The Dibb it is a holiday organiser’s paradise!

I also love the Disney Food Blog. Any new opening, any menu additions or new park treats will be on here.

Admittedly both of these sites would be more exciting if I actually had a trip to plan *sob* but I use them to dream and visualise and yes I even plan anyway lol.

Gaston’s statue!

I feel so much better immersing myself in Disney park memories and magic. I think another trip needs to happen!

What about you, where’s your happy place? xx

loveandthebreath

This week has been crazy: I created my YouTube channel and filmed, edited and uploaded my first vlog.

I started a course in Lunar Flow, which requires me to keep a diary to help me track my moods and energy levels in relation to the moon cycle.

And, I spent a lot of time getting excited for my weekend away with my boyfriend for my birthday 🙂

Amongst all that, I forgot that I also set up my second Etsy store this week… Maybe because I already have an Etsy store so it wasn’t a first – and it wasn’t as terrifying as publishing my first vlog.

But then, a big brash entrance wouldn’t suit the energy of my new store.

It’s called loveandthebreath.

Love – because we are Love.
Breath – because Breath is our connection to Love.

This is a much more personal store for me. It has been born out of my daily spiritual practice, and is a way that I can contribute some peaceful loving energy to the world 🙂

My hope is that whether you practice yoga, energy healing or meditation; whether you believe in magic, miracles or angels; whether you practice daily affirmations or daily gratitude, then you are my kindred spirit and the products in loveandthebreath will, I hope, speak to you.

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I will be expanding the store over the next couple weeks so please do bookmark it and check back for more items 🙂

In the meantime, happy Sunday everyone xx

My soul inspiration #2: the seaside

Yesterday my boyfriend Alex, our dog Baxter and I took a trip to the seaside at Hunstanton along the Norfolk coast.

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Baxter and me!

I find the sea so calming and inspiring. I grew up 5 minutes away  from the beach down in south east Kent so I’ve been breathing sea air and paddling sea water since I was born. Even though I’m not a strong swimmer and the idea of deep water scares me, being near the water feels like home to me.

I also like the whole shebang of the typical British seaside town: the penny arcades, the fish and chip shops, the candy floss. I get overexcited as soon as we arrive and spend at least the first 10 minutes singing “the sea! the sea!” and instructing Alex what I want to do first then second then third, which he is gracious (or smart) enough to just allow (anything to stop me singing!).

I love taking Baxter onto the beach. I give him any opportunity I can to let him off lead; that sense of freedom really resonates with me as he goes from restrained to running free and exploring. Sometimes I will run with him, if I’m wearing the right shoes !

Watching him paddle in the ocean makes me incredibly happy for some reason! I think its because he bunny hop’s through the water which is insanely cute.

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Baxter is a mini dachshund so as soon as he steps onto wet sand he’s basically covered in it!

I sat for some time just looking out to sea as the sun made it glisten and sparkle. I found myself really thankful to be there, and thankful to my two boys who came with me. I definitely got my fix of soul inspiration there and came home sandy and sleepy, and refreshed.

My soul inspiration #1: Disney World!

Happy Sunday everyone!

Whilst pottering around my lounge a moment ago I just got, for no reason I can think of, a little flashback of that beautiful sense of optimism, sunshine, health and freedom that being on holiday gives me.

It has inspired me to quickly sit down and talk about a place which absolutely sings to my soul and my soul sings back.  That feeling when you feel fully in flow with yourself on a deep down level. Some people might get this ‘in flow’ feeling when they visit India, or Thailand, or Bali – I’ve never visited those places – however for me, there is a special place where I always find myself again. Disney World in Florida.

Magic Kingdom, Disney World

Simply thinking about Disney World has really helped me through some very difficult times. For example, in the summer of 2013 I found myself in yet another job I hated, from which I had developed a delightful combination of physical pain (RSS (Repetitive Strain Syndrome) and Carpal Tunnel Syndrome) and emotional pain (panic attacks and depression). I hated where I was but was at a loss as to what I should be doing instead, I was struggling financially, my boyfriend’s grandfather was unwell and all around us there just seemed to be problems.

WIth nothing on the horizon to look forward to and no escape routes from work or money problems, I felt like I had very little to cheer me up. That’s when I started thinking about Disney World, a place where I have experienced pure joy, relentless laughing fits, ease of just ‘being’ away from grown-up problems, and been immersed in Disney’s dedication to imagination and dreams. 

I started reading Disney Vacation forums whenever I was having a particularly low moment, such as my favourite The Dibb. And I downloaded songs from the Disney parks (the Fantasmic Fireworks theme being my favourite!) to listen to whenever I needed cheering up such as on my walk to work. Once I had figured out I could access YouTube on my TV, much to my boyfriend’s frustration I started watching Ride POV videos (the best being this guy’s, endless hours of fun!).

In a time when I was feeling increasingly hopeless I really needed that little burst of hope that dreams can come true and you are right to have dreams in the first place.

Me and WInnie the Pooh at Disney World!

That is what Disney World reawakens in me every time I go there.  I remember who I am. I remember those things I used to want to be and do before I got so drained and dragged down.  I reflect on things back home and suddenly I wonder, why am I making these choices for myself? Why aren’t I aiming for better?

Watching Fantasmic always brought a tear to my eye. In that moment I forgive myself for losing or abandoning myself for the pursuit of rent money. I long for a little more happiness and magic. And I start to believe again that it might just be possible.

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Even though I never shared any of this with anyone at the time, six months later somebody must have heard my prayers as a trip had been arranged and I am lucky enough to be going back there in August 2014 – 153 days and counting!