Photo by Adam Dachis
As you may know, I explored and adopted various spiritual practices and principles when I was first diagnosed with depression some 7-8 years ago.
But I never “got” crystals.
I’d collected the bog standard ones that beginners often get, Rose Quartz for love, Aventurine for the heart chakra, Blue Lace Agate for the throat chakra. But I didn’t feel anything when I held them, and I ended up leaving them in a drawer.
Then last year I randomly bought a beautiful piece of blue Celestite. The first time I meditated with it in my hand, I felt different. Clearer, calmer and more connected (and more inclined towards alliteration lol). This prompted me to dig out the crystals I’d bought and look for more that might help me with the specific issues I was having.
Fast forward to 4 weeks ago. I am a total mess.
My dermatillomania is the worst it’s been in years (for those who haven’t heard of it, it’s also known as a Repetitive Body Focused Behaviour, or Compulsive Skin-Picking). I am having CBT which has helped me understand the condition and given me more motivation and accountability to stop, but only I can resist the urge and kick the habit and I am really, really struggling. In fact it’s getting so bad that I am having panic attacks over it. In public.
So this one night, 4 weeks ago, I was feeling extremely down about it all. I was getting ready for bed and putting my gloves on so I wouldn’t pick in my sleep. And I randomly decided to pop my old Rose Quartz inside the glove on my left hand. Silently, and probably rather half-heartedly because I didn’t have the energy at that point to fight, I asked it to help me feel better.
The next morning, I woke up, and I didn’t pick.
At midday I texted my therapist to say OMG I haven’t picked yet today. I was so proud. More than that, I was astonished. I had not been able to resist picking for this many hours, for almost a year.
I have not picked since that night.
I have not picked for four weeks.
Frankly, it feels like nothing short of a miracle. It was literally overnight. I went to bed a compulsive skin-picker, and woke up reformed. (There is a theory that we are more open to spiritual healing when we’re asleep). I retained the habit of feeling my skin for imperfections (although that has lessened massively over time) but I literally had no interest in picking anymore.
When I next saw my therapist I felt squirmy at how little involvement I had had in this miraculous recovery. She quickly told me that I had had a massive amount to do with it, which of course is true. I had had months of CBT prior to it. I had reached a point of desperation which led to determination to quit. I had tried and tried and tried again.
I can’t promise this will happen to everyone. And I can’t explain exactly what happened. But it’s worth a try. Try it for anything you are going through, any mental health concerns you may have.
And if it doesn’t work the first time, persevere. Because we are all at different stages of spiritual openness. There’s no rules to if, when or how it can work so don’t beat yourself up. It can be a process, or it can be instant.
I wish you love, light and hope.