How I Manifested £100 (& a lil’ more Self-Love) in 5 Days

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Hi everyone,

If you follow me on social media you’ll know that on Saturday 15th October I started asking for tips on how to utilise the Law of Attraction to manifest money FAST.

You see, I wanted to go to VegFest in London on Saturday 22nd October. I already had 2 tickets; but I had no money for the train fare or to actually buy anything with.

Now I know there are many more critical or useful uses for £100. But I’ve had a difficult time recently and, apart from sitting at home feeling sad, this was all I had to focus on and look forward to.

So I took myself on a crash course of Law of Attraction. Here are the steps I took:

  • I started reading Denise Duffield Thomas’ book, ‘Get Rich Lucky Bitch’. I only got midway through but as I went along I applied everything she advises: I made lists of people, situations and my own actions which I needed to forgive – whether they were related to money or not I wrote them all down and then I repeated the forgiveness mantra “I forgive you. I’m sorry. And I love you” for each and every one.
  • I watched VegFest videos from last year’s event and really visualised myself attending; the excitement walking through the entrance, exploring all the stalls, giving my money to friendly stallholders and feeling great about it, tasting beautiful food, vlogging the day and making a brilliant video for my YouTube channel.
  • I found some affirmation videos on YouTube and played them either whilst meditating or whilst doing other things. This ‘500 Affirmations’ was my absolute favourite. If I was meditating, I’d hold a £5 note which I’d sniff (Denise’s recommendation!) and feel between my fingers, to get used to enjoy having money.
  • I looked to Instagram for positive money affirmations and saved a bunch on my phone to look at regularly and memorise. I particularly loved @MyMoneyMogul for this.
  • I tried to be super mindful of what I was saying and thinking. I didn’t discuss what I was doing with anybody, so that neither they (or I) would cast doubt on my process.
  • At the same time as all this I tried to remain mindful of any intuitive pulls I was receiving, as these might be the practical steps needed to help the money flow to me.

Taking all these steps I managed to become really confident that I was meant to go, and that it was OK for me to have this money for this (some might say trivial) purpose, and it seemed such a certainty that I would go.

In the end, a number of items I was trying to sell DID sell, and I had the money I needed within 5 days. And just as I imagined, this happened!

I also found that this process, and Denise’s book especially, is not just about money. It’s about forgiving yourself, and others, and yourself some more. It’s about believing in your own self worth, believing that you deserve. Increasing your self love.

For those reasons alone I say if you are sceptical of the Law of Attraction it is STILL worth exploring it and doing the work. I felt so good about me, so worthy, so filled up with love for myself, that was an even greater feeling than accumulating the money.

#FindingMySpark

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Today I am starting a new project, and I would LOVE for you to join me!

I have been feeling constantly exhausted and apathetic over the last few months. I’ve been eating a lazier diet, drinking more red wine, gaining weight, feeling physically ill literally every day and living in a constant state of anxiety, lethargy and insomnia. Clearly something isn’t right. But the worst part is, I don’t know how to fix it.

I already take anti-depressants to aid depression and anxiety, and am in recovery from my dermatillomania. So having days where I don’t feel great, or inspired, or I don’t feel anything at all, is to be expected.

In addition, I have a life purpose problem. I desire – and, if I may venture to sound a bit confident in myself just for a minute – I feel intuitively that I am here to contribute to the world in some meaningful way.

Trouble is, I don’t know how. People say “do what lights you up” but I haven’t found that spark. And trust me, I’ve been really looking for it, for a really long time, in many different places.

And then this idea came to me today:

Every day I will post on Twitter (and if it’s a picture I’ll post it on Insta too) a thing that has made me feel a bit of a spark during that day.

My ‘why’ for this is threefold:

First – over time, providing I am consistent with posting at least once a day – which in itself will feel like a massive effort – I will build up a picture of the recurrent themes, topics, role models, etc which have given me a little bit of that “what lights you up” feeling. I am hoping that this information will in itself trigger a bigger lightbulb moment in terms of my own personal purpose and what makes me feel passionate.

Second – it will be like a happiness/inspiration diary that I can look back on and give me nice feelz 😊

Three – I believe that honesty and transparency about mental health and these bigger life questions helps to unite people globally.

I am going to be honest if I don’t feel anything at all, or I feel crap, or I don’t feel a spark. Why force it? I want to cover the whole gamut of emotion within inspiration and purpose.

So how does this involve you? 

Because I would love you to get involved too!

Share with me, and with others, what made you feel something today.

Lets help everyone who knows they have a greater purpose than the life they are living right now, but can’t figure it out.

Lets help the people who are feeling lost or apathetic or purposeless.

Lets help those whom don’t feel anything at all today.

Because my philosophy is anything’s worth a try, right?

Use the hashtag #findingmyspark – and either hashtag me with #freedombirdie and/or tag me on @freedombirdie on Twitter and @freedom_birdie on Insta so I can follow your journeys. And let’s start sharing!

I can’t wait to get started! xxx

 

‘Lucky Bitch’: Me, Money + Mental Health

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Once upon a time, I thought I was pretty clued up on the Law of Attraction.

The theory of it, anyway. I knew what I had to do. I had listened to some free ‘manifesting’ meditations on YouTube, and read a couple of books. The process was this: I had to be specific about my desires, visualise them, feel them as though it’s already in my life, release it and then receive it!

I had a few little successes but on the whole I was finding myself forever worrying about money and scouring the pavement everywhere I went looking for loose change.

If I’m being painfully honest, I couldn’t be bothered to put any further effort into it. I just wanted to make a wish and have thousands of pounds deposited into my bank, thanks very much.

So anyway – something switched very recently. Call it intuition, call it divine guidance, call it frustration from scouring the pavement lol. I abandoned my ’99p or under’ rule for Kindle books and spent a whole £8.03 on ‘Get Rich, Lucky Bitch’ by Denise Duffield-Thomas.

I am not far into the book yet but one of the most important exercises you must do, according to Denise, is to face all of your beliefs, feelings and memories about money square in the eye. So that you can then “declutter” those that are not serving you.

This morning whilst in meditation I visualised my spirit team all around me (for moral support lol) and a large basket in front of me, and I started offloading all my thoughts about money into the basket. (By the way this is a great technique if you want to offload/release anything anytime you are worried, fearful etc). 

It was not long before I realised something that I would say probably has raaaather a lot to do with my lack of manifesting success. And which is also embarrassingly obvious!

You know my previous blog posts, where I have discussed how many years I’ve spent feeling trapped in jobs I couldn’t stand, which affected my mental and physical wellbeing and felt like a waste of my life? Where I expound my belief that we should dream big, and disregard the societal norm to suffer a job because “that’s the way it is”, and work towards an authentic and fulfilling job and life?

Well that is indeed admirable. Unfortunately, underlying it is a belief which is completely contradictory:

The only way I have managed to earn money is doing things that make me unwell, unhappy, depressed, anxious and even suicidal.

And therefore:

Earning money makes me unhappy, depressed, anxious and even suicidal.

So yeah. No wonder I struggle to manifest riches! Deep down I believe that acquiring money could kill me!

I was pretty overwhelmed by this realisation. It’s fantastic to have realised it though. Realising it is the first step towards overcoming it.

I suspect there may be many, many others in my shoes – those with mental health issues like mine especially – who deep down have the same fear.

Do you recognise this belief in yourself? If you have already found this to be one of your belief, what has your journey been like since you made that discovery?

(Skin) Picking for Perfection

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Image by FrostyKat Creations

My dermatillomania has gotten really bad this year: I’ve documented already how I’ve gone from picking only one area of my body to multiple parts, including parts that are extremely visible.

I’ve taken to wearing gloves around the house all the time, when I remember and when I’m disciplined enough that is. And I also wear them overnight.

I’ve started a picking diary which, again, I fill out when I remember and am disciplined enough. It has helped to see when I am habitually reaching for skin imperfections I can correct: the main culprits are when I am getting dressed/undressed alone in my bedroom, and when I am in the kitchen alone preparing meals.

I have managed to stop picking at one or two spots which I am not giving myself any credit for but should! So I have proven to myself that it can be done and that actually it didn’t take THAT long and wasn’t THAT hard. Although I may have compensated by picking other areas instead.

I’ve found that baths and showers every day help keep my skin soft and healing quicker. I apply Dream Cream from Lush after I’ve bathed: I really cannot recommend this product enough, the oat milk in it is really cooling and healing and I’ve noticed a tangible improvement in the speed in which the wounds begin to heal over.

I think the most important thing is to NOT BEAT MYSELF UP if I have a weak moment. I always try to tell myself that tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity to try again. I try not to call myself weak or weird or ugly. This isn’t helpful and it’s unkind.

I’ve actually found that feeling more positive in other areas of my life has made an impact in my determination to try and quit. I’ve also noticed that during the times I am doing better with my picking, other parts of my life seem to go better. It’s sort of like I am attracting fulfilment because I am treating myself with more love.

In fact when I meditated last week, when I was feeling worried about my finances, I received guidance that if I focus on my healing that it will help other aspects of my life including my finances. That’s doesn’t mean if I have a bad day with my picking I’ll be punished somehow: it’s simply a reminder of the ripple effect your energy can cause throughout the universe, and how good energy can bring goodness back to you.

It’s not going to happen overnight and it will be hard. Breaking a habit is bloody hard especially when it relieves tension for you. But it’s worth doing. I don’t want to get infected. I don’t want to be ashamed of my body.

Do feel free to get in touch or leave a comment if you have anything you’d like to share with me or with my readers. Stay strong x

 

 

How I feel when I’m going downhill

This isn’t very easy to write but I figured it’s times like this when it’s more important that I do write.

On Monday (also my birthday) I discovered that some money I was counting on to get through February isn’t coming through. This means that I only have a couple hundred left which is not enough to pay the bills that will be coming out of my bank over the next couple weeks.

Over the course of January I have been practising positive thinking and affirmations of financial abundance, assuming that the Universe has my back and that I will have enough money to allow me to carry on developing my creative projects and continue to live with this new-found sense of fulfilment and purpose that I’ve never felt before.

Although I have manifested the odd tidbit (£20 on a scratchcard, for e.g.), I have struggled since Monday to remain positive about money, or indeed my future.

These are my behaviours when I’m going downhill:

1. Compulsive scratching
I wondered in a previous post why I experience the compulsion, both consciously and unconsciously, to scratch and pick at my skin. Well, I got a great clue on Monday night: for the first night in weeks, I went to bed and consciously scratched at my newly-healed skin until all the imperfections were picked away. I was aware I was doing it but I didn’t care. I was angry and I needed control over something.

2. Feeling fearful
My creative projects, including my Etsy stores and this blog, they are all just the start of my attempt to escape a long history of jobs that made me dreadfully unhappy and unwell; giving me panic attacks, anxiety and depression. With each job I take (I think of them as stop-gap “day jobs”) those symptoms get worse and more serious. It’s the feeling that I’m wasting my life, and not receiving any sense of fulfilment or purpose that kills me – I’m an INFJ Aquarius, I need to emotionally invest into my work, it needs to have purpose and meaning to me.

I am now extremely fearful that I will have to resort to that again.

3. Lying in bed feeling hopeless
When I’m feeling really awful I lie in bed in silence with a pillow over my head, trying to forget. I feel hopeless, but I can’t cry. Tears won’t come out. By this point I feel like it’s game over. I’ve failed. I’m a ‘nothing’. I’m not good at anything. I’m going to get ill again. Life’s going to get unbearable again. From a Law of Attraction point of view, these are the worst thoughts I could be having! But I can’t stop.

4. Giving up my values, one by one
I have spent a couple hours each day looking for a job. At the moment I am only focusing on finding something that I would find more bearable but If something doesn’t turn up within a matter of days, I will have to resort to anything I can get regardless of the impact on my health.

Rewind a month ago and I promised myself that no matter what, I wouldn’t go back. It is easy to be kind on yourself, and promise to respect your own values and beliefs, when you have money. But when you have no money left what else can you do? It’s at this point when I feel sad that I can’t take care of myself. And I start to feel trapped.

I just need to make it clear I know I am no different to anybody else who works even though they really don’t want to. I am able-bodied and am technically able-minded enough to work and I don’t want to rely on anyone else; not a bank loan, not benefits, not friends, not a loved one.

I just feel pain today:-(

loveandthebreath

This week has been crazy: I created my YouTube channel and filmed, edited and uploaded my first vlog.

I started a course in Lunar Flow, which requires me to keep a diary to help me track my moods and energy levels in relation to the moon cycle.

And, I spent a lot of time getting excited for my weekend away with my boyfriend for my birthday 🙂

Amongst all that, I forgot that I also set up my second Etsy store this week… Maybe because I already have an Etsy store so it wasn’t a first – and it wasn’t as terrifying as publishing my first vlog.

But then, a big brash entrance wouldn’t suit the energy of my new store.

It’s called loveandthebreath.

Love – because we are Love.
Breath – because Breath is our connection to Love.

This is a much more personal store for me. It has been born out of my daily spiritual practice, and is a way that I can contribute some peaceful loving energy to the world 🙂

My hope is that whether you practice yoga, energy healing or meditation; whether you believe in magic, miracles or angels; whether you practice daily affirmations or daily gratitude, then you are my kindred spirit and the products in loveandthebreath will, I hope, speak to you.

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I will be expanding the store over the next couple weeks so please do bookmark it and check back for more items 🙂

In the meantime, happy Sunday everyone xx