To Those Wishing They Weren’t In The World

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I wrote this based on how I felt today when I woke up.

I dedicate it to those who feel the same.
The depressed, anxious, stressed, alone, frightened, grieving and broken-hearted.
We are all One. I am with you. I understand.

May You Rise.

xxx

Waking up Wishing I Weren’t in the World

When I woke up this morning, I wished I wasn’t here.
It’s not that I want death – it’s nothing that severe.
I’m not suicidal. I just want time to cease
So I can un-exist a while, and find a little peace.
All of my life’s burdens weigh heavy on my heart,
Though I do try to be grateful for every little part.
I don’t feel I can tell this to anyone I know
but I do not feel well, I feel trapped and I feel low.
My problems swirl around in my overactive mind.
I cannot find the answers but I cannot be resigned.
And so I fight. And so I tire. And so I crave respite.
The cycle just repeats, round and round, day and night.
But though it feels the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
I decide to lift the covers and let the sunlight through.
And though my eyes are teary and inside I am distraught
I resolve that I will sit up despite my heavy thoughts.
And though I cannot bear to think about the day,
I stand. And just a tiny bit of turmoil goes away.
And though I feel a failure, and I’m lost, and I’m afraid
That every morning I will feel this very same way,
I know that things get better. Life goes up and down.
And there would be hearts broken, if I were not around.
So though my heart is hurting and I long for silent rest,
I decide that I will rise, and I will do my best.

xxx

Bethany

 

Dip a Toe into the Discomfort Zone

You know those times when you just feel ‘meh’? I’ve been there lately. I’ve been having lots of good ideas but I haven’t taken any action. I haven’t been fighting for my dreams, I haven’t been proactive in the slightest.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this, I accept these phases as the universe’s way of telling me to rest myself.

Then last night, it came to its natural end. I felt ready to resume business again.

I thought, “I’m ready to stop making myself small. My dreams may look unrealistic to everyone else but I’m gonna try anyway!”.

Because what’s the alternative, if you don’t try for your dreams and your goals? 

Well, you will definitely fail at them.

And if they’re that important to you, you will live to regret not trying.

And you may feel bitter and angry with yourself.

Whereas……

For the sake of the discomfort in stepping out of your comfort zone…

For the sake of exposing your heart + soul for others to see/ignore/mock/criticise…

For the sake of committing some of your time and energy, and some blood, sweat and tears…

You could succeed at something that makes you really happy!

It’s worth a try, right? 

I have been guilty of choosing to preserve my energy and my playtime by doing nothing, instead of working EVEN HARDER at my dreams.

And I have definitely been guilty of being too scared, too shy and too negative.

Look – if we don’t try, we will never know!

So I am going to try very very hard to TRY even when it feels scary, pointless, doomed or rubbish. 

What about you? Can you dip just one toe into the discomfort zone today, and do something towards YOUR dream?