How I Manifested £100 (& a lil’ more Self-Love) in 5 Days

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Hi everyone,

If you follow me on social media you’ll know that on Saturday 15th October I started asking for tips on how to utilise the Law of Attraction to manifest money FAST.

You see, I wanted to go to VegFest in London on Saturday 22nd October. I already had 2 tickets; but I had no money for the train fare or to actually buy anything with.

Now I know there are many more critical or useful uses for £100. But I’ve had a difficult time recently and, apart from sitting at home feeling sad, this was all I had to focus on and look forward to.

So I took myself on a crash course of Law of Attraction. Here are the steps I took:

  • I started reading Denise Duffield Thomas’ book, ‘Get Rich Lucky Bitch’. I only got midway through but as I went along I applied everything she advises: I made lists of people, situations and my own actions which I needed to forgive – whether they were related to money or not I wrote them all down and then I repeated the forgiveness mantra “I forgive you. I’m sorry. And I love you” for each and every one.
  • I watched VegFest videos from last year’s event and really visualised myself attending; the excitement walking through the entrance, exploring all the stalls, giving my money to friendly stallholders and feeling great about it, tasting beautiful food, vlogging the day and making a brilliant video for my YouTube channel.
  • I found some affirmation videos on YouTube and played them either whilst meditating or whilst doing other things. This ‘500 Affirmations’ was my absolute favourite. If I was meditating, I’d hold a £5 note which I’d sniff (Denise’s recommendation!) and feel between my fingers, to get used to enjoy having money.
  • I looked to Instagram for positive money affirmations and saved a bunch on my phone to look at regularly and memorise. I particularly loved @MyMoneyMogul for this.
  • I tried to be super mindful of what I was saying and thinking. I didn’t discuss what I was doing with anybody, so that neither they (or I) would cast doubt on my process.
  • At the same time as all this I tried to remain mindful of any intuitive pulls I was receiving, as these might be the practical steps needed to help the money flow to me.

Taking all these steps I managed to become really confident that I was meant to go, and that it was OK for me to have this money for this (some might say trivial) purpose, and it seemed such a certainty that I would go.

In the end, a number of items I was trying to sell DID sell, and I had the money I needed within 5 days. And just as I imagined, this happened!

I also found that this process, and Denise’s book especially, is not just about money. It’s about forgiving yourself, and others, and yourself some more. It’s about believing in your own self worth, believing that you deserve. Increasing your self love.

For those reasons alone I say if you are sceptical of the Law of Attraction it is STILL worth exploring it and doing the work. I felt so good about me, so worthy, so filled up with love for myself, that was an even greater feeling than accumulating the money.

#FindingMySpark

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Today I am starting a new project, and I would LOVE for you to join me!

I have been feeling constantly exhausted and apathetic over the last few months. I’ve been eating a lazier diet, drinking more red wine, gaining weight, feeling physically ill literally every day and living in a constant state of anxiety, lethargy and insomnia. Clearly something isn’t right. But the worst part is, I don’t know how to fix it.

I already take anti-depressants to aid depression and anxiety, and am in recovery from my dermatillomania. So having days where I don’t feel great, or inspired, or I don’t feel anything at all, is to be expected.

In addition, I have a life purpose problem. I desire – and, if I may venture to sound a bit confident in myself just for a minute – I feel intuitively that I am here to contribute to the world in some meaningful way.

Trouble is, I don’t know how. People say “do what lights you up” but I haven’t found that spark. And trust me, I’ve been really looking for it, for a really long time, in many different places.

And then this idea came to me today:

Every day I will post on Twitter (and if it’s a picture I’ll post it on Insta too) a thing that has made me feel a bit of a spark during that day.

My ‘why’ for this is threefold:

First – over time, providing I am consistent with posting at least once a day – which in itself will feel like a massive effort – I will build up a picture of the recurrent themes, topics, role models, etc which have given me a little bit of that “what lights you up” feeling. I am hoping that this information will in itself trigger a bigger lightbulb moment in terms of my own personal purpose and what makes me feel passionate.

Second – it will be like a happiness/inspiration diary that I can look back on and give me nice feelz 😊

Three – I believe that honesty and transparency about mental health and these bigger life questions helps to unite people globally.

I am going to be honest if I don’t feel anything at all, or I feel crap, or I don’t feel a spark. Why force it? I want to cover the whole gamut of emotion within inspiration and purpose.

So how does this involve you? 

Because I would love you to get involved too!

Share with me, and with others, what made you feel something today.

Lets help everyone who knows they have a greater purpose than the life they are living right now, but can’t figure it out.

Lets help the people who are feeling lost or apathetic or purposeless.

Lets help those whom don’t feel anything at all today.

Because my philosophy is anything’s worth a try, right?

Use the hashtag #findingmyspark – and either hashtag me with #freedombirdie and/or tag me on @freedombirdie on Twitter and @freedom_birdie on Insta so I can follow your journeys. And let’s start sharing!

I can’t wait to get started! xxx

 

‘Lucky Bitch’: Me, Money + Mental Health

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Once upon a time, I thought I was pretty clued up on the Law of Attraction.

The theory of it, anyway. I knew what I had to do. I had listened to some free ‘manifesting’ meditations on YouTube, and read a couple of books. The process was this: I had to be specific about my desires, visualise them, feel them as though it’s already in my life, release it and then receive it!

I had a few little successes but on the whole I was finding myself forever worrying about money and scouring the pavement everywhere I went looking for loose change.

If I’m being painfully honest, I couldn’t be bothered to put any further effort into it. I just wanted to make a wish and have thousands of pounds deposited into my bank, thanks very much.

So anyway – something switched very recently. Call it intuition, call it divine guidance, call it frustration from scouring the pavement lol. I abandoned my ’99p or under’ rule for Kindle books and spent a whole £8.03 on ‘Get Rich, Lucky Bitch’ by Denise Duffield-Thomas.

I am not far into the book yet but one of the most important exercises you must do, according to Denise, is to face all of your beliefs, feelings and memories about money square in the eye. So that you can then “declutter” those that are not serving you.

This morning whilst in meditation I visualised my spirit team all around me (for moral support lol) and a large basket in front of me, and I started offloading all my thoughts about money into the basket. (By the way this is a great technique if you want to offload/release anything anytime you are worried, fearful etc). 

It was not long before I realised something that I would say probably has raaaather a lot to do with my lack of manifesting success. And which is also embarrassingly obvious!

You know my previous blog posts, where I have discussed how many years I’ve spent feeling trapped in jobs I couldn’t stand, which affected my mental and physical wellbeing and felt like a waste of my life? Where I expound my belief that we should dream big, and disregard the societal norm to suffer a job because “that’s the way it is”, and work towards an authentic and fulfilling job and life?

Well that is indeed admirable. Unfortunately, underlying it is a belief which is completely contradictory:

The only way I have managed to earn money is doing things that make me unwell, unhappy, depressed, anxious and even suicidal.

And therefore:

Earning money makes me unhappy, depressed, anxious and even suicidal.

So yeah. No wonder I struggle to manifest riches! Deep down I believe that acquiring money could kill me!

I was pretty overwhelmed by this realisation. It’s fantastic to have realised it though. Realising it is the first step towards overcoming it.

I suspect there may be many, many others in my shoes – those with mental health issues like mine especially – who deep down have the same fear.

Do you recognise this belief in yourself? If you have already found this to be one of your belief, what has your journey been like since you made that discovery?

Mental Wellbeing vs Paying Bills

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One of the main themes of Freedom, Birdie! has always been the relationship between mental health and work: which, for so many of us, means surviving in a job we don’t enjoy, for whatever reason.

Everything I write (well, except the vegan burger recipes 😋) relates somehow to my own goal to escape the career path I am in;  and to instead work independently doing something which allows me to live the fullest authentic expression of who I am, and be happy and healthy. As an INFP if I have to take a job just for the money, a job in which I have no interest, emotional engagement or spiritual reward, if I have to assume a ‘character’ and repress elements of myself to ‘get the job done’ and be ‘the face that fits’, it is to my mental and physical detriment.

Yet that is the situation I have been in for many years as a professional ‘temp’. You can be sure I’ve spent those years exploring for a better-suited career path, starting up a number of entrepreneurial ventures, and working through my emotional and spiritual blocks – but out of necessity I’ve had to keep taking the ‘soul-destroying’ jobs and in doing so I’ve continued to push my mental wellbeing and the greater my emotional and physical health has suffered as a result.

So I’m currently in another temp job, which started in January and finishes in April.

Three weeks in I was given the workload of 3 people and it was this which alerted me to the toll these many years have taken on my body and spirit. I just can’t tolerate it the way I used to – I used to be able to get through 3 months in a job before I started to feel depressed, trapped and panicky. Now it’s only a matter of a few weeks.

I feel weaker now. In body and mind. It’s not just the usual repercussions: the insomnia, panic attacks, chest aches, sadness that leads to depression, feeling frustrated, drained and defeated. This time I feel tearful all the time, in and out of work. And I’m extremely anxious about work, in and out of work. I ache all over, more than ever. And my hands are noticeably shaking.

People who don’t know how this feels, they don’t get it. My doctor doesn’t get it. My government doesn’t get it. It’s constant and it’s exhausting. I can FEEL there will be great and more serious repercussions on my health, sooner or later. But you are expected to carry on until you crash and burn; only then, once there is visible ‘proof’ that you aren’t well, can you be helped and really taken seriously.

In the meantime you feel alone, scared, trapped, and under the assumption that you must just be so WEAK to feel like this.

As you can see I don’t have a definitive answer but I share everything I share simply to show all those who are experiencing the same that you are not alone. Connection can make a massive difference. And so can speaking out.

Please, do not accept this as ‘the way things are’. You deserve better.

Reframing Mondays

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Scratch. Cling. Scream. Desperate. Sad.

These are all words I just typed into a search engine, looking for an appropriate image for this blog post that would accurately portray my feelings right now (p.s. that’d be the one above).

It’s Sunday evening. And I am clawing at the remnants of the day – no actually I am clinging onto it for dear life. My fingers are bloodied and torn. I am screaming these awful, gutteral, painful howls as panic rips through my insides. I am pleading hysterically “please, please, please don’t leave me!”.

I don’t want today to end, because I don’t want Monday to come.

It’s not like I have an awful Monday planned: I’m not going to a funeral, or into hospital. It’s just another day in a temp job. But for someone who’s been trying to transition OUT of that lifestyle and into a life and a career I love, for many years, it’s the same. old. shit.  and it can frequently feel maddeningly frustrating.

I know some will tell me to be grateful, to get real, to suck it up. All I can say is, I’m an INFJ (or an INFP depending on the day): I need engagement and fulfilment in my work. I am trying my hardest to make that a reality,but in the meantime the days spent doing monotonous and menial tasks feel like my life is going down the toilet.

I’ve realised that, actually, what makes an impending Monday worse is that on Sunday night I start to get REALLY mean with myself about how I’ve spent my weekend.

“You haven’t worked hard enough this weekend to change things. You took a break to have that nap / take that bath / watch that show. You sit here immobilised by your fears and your obstacles and your laziness and then you get upset that things aren’t changing. Your efforts are crap. Your energy levels are pitiful. You think you’re brave and ambitious and determined, you’re delusional love!!”.

So tonight I thought I’d try and reframe my thoughts. It worked and I’d like to share it with you.

*I have done the best that I could*
*I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now*
*A new day, and a new week, is a new opportunity*
*Monday HAS to come so I can take one step closer to my dreams*
*Monday will be GREAT because I will be one step closer to my dreams*

Just give this a try and see how you feel afterwards. I can’t say I feel amazingly joyous, but I feel less rooted-in-misery-and-fear than I did 10 minutes ago. I was lying on my bed face down half-heartedly clutching a crystal, feeling paralysed in sadness and hopelessness. And now I feel…accepting of what is. And even, dare I say it, almost ok with it? I mean, if it’s going to bring me a step closer to my dreams, then that’s ok isn’t it?

After all, there’s no point wishing Monday isn’t going to come. But we’ve survived this many of them, we can survive another one.

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from Sunny DE Blog

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going

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There’s no denying it: in latter 2015 I fell out of the habit of blogging.

There is a lot going on in my personal life that I cannot discuss at the moment.

I mean, I can still talk vegan and Etsy and publish general thoughts and recommendations but it feels almost superficial.

How can I maintain an honest space on my blog, where I give from all parts of myself, and where I urge others to live authentically and to reach for that life they’ll love, when I am not able to speak my truth?

WELL I don’t know, yet, but I want to keep writing here and connecting with others – and so one of my goals for 2016 is to find a way to keep blogging authentically. Until such a time as I can speak the whole truth.

Now, any idea how I actually do this?? Haha 😄xx

 

 

When Writing is your Life Purpose

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Wow, it’s been a while since my last post. I’m sorry about that.

If you follow me on social media you’ll have seen I’ve been really focused lately on redesigning my Etsy store and on creating my Christmas products which, for the first time, I’ve decided to get professionally printed instead of making everything by hand and to order. I also did my first craft fair!

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I’m proud of myself for pulling it all off but now comes the even harder part of attracting buyers – hence why I’ve had to put more time into it.

I was also hired for two acting jobs which took up a lot of time line learning, rehearsing and performing. AND I’ve taken a Christmas temp job at Lush which I am loving!

It’s actually been a really good couple months. Busy, but rewarding. And fun. One of those rare times in life when everything seems to be going right. It only strengthens my belief that doing work you love improves your quality of life overall.

But I have missed writing here, and filming my YouTube videos. I’ve felt the intuitive nudge urging me to return for weeks, but not felt the right moment to actually DO it. But in the bath just now I pulled the above card from Doreen Virtue’s Life Purpose deck – ‘Writing’ – and I decided it was time.

Rather than cram every area of my life into this one blog post, I thought I’d write a little update series throughout the coming week so that I can discuss mental health, veganism and working at Lush, plus any other little titbits, in more detail without fulfilling my NaNoWriMo word count in one blog post! (Although that would be useful as I am only 1600 words in – fail!).

So thanks for standing by, and I look forward to reconnecting! xxx