News From Under the Mountain

Hi everybody,

I love this quote. It reminds me that it’s ok to have those moments in life where you need to retreat under a rock for a bit. Or in this case, a mountain! It’s just part of the process of recharging yourself so that you can come back stronger.

I am in a weird place right now. In some ways I should be thriving: I am at home all day so it’s the PERFECT opportunity to pump my time and energy into my Etsy store, and this blog, and my YouTube channel (I have empty vegan products cluttering up my staircase waiting to be filmed!).

But I’m not thriving. I’m not really doing anything. Except picking. I’m picking a lot. The area I pick has extended across my backside, all the way down my left leg and across my back. I’m now restricted to wearing grey or black (as chances are if I’m in my bedroom to get dressed or undressed, I have just picked), and covering up my legs and shoulders. And while we may have shit summers in Britain it’s still a bit too warm to be walking round in black tights and long sleeves!

So I feel like I’m carrying a disgraceful secret. And not just externally but internally. I feel weirdly out of touch and emotionless, like I don’t have any energy for anything. It could be my anti-depressants, perhaps, although I haven’t changed brand or dose. It could be a new wacky + wonderful reaction to stress – isn’t it amazing how the body always finds new ways to tell you you’re unhappy.

The scars I’m creating on my body are essentially a massive signpost for the casual observer to stare at me and judge ‘hmm, something’s off about this one’. I feel ugly. Monstrous.

But I’m not writing this for anyone to feel sorry for me. I am still here, and have much to be grateful for.

I am trying to remind myself about divine timing. I am exactly where I am meant to be, experiencing exactly what I’m meant to be experiencing. And when the time is right, which will be chosen by my Soul, I will move through it and onwards and upwards. Can’t rush the process, gotta learn the lessons.

And I love my blog too much to let it go 🙂 Writing soothes me and cheers me up!

So Thank You for reading and sticking with me, and I promise you more content soon from this little Birdie!

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One thought on “News From Under the Mountain

  1. Pingback: New Vlog on ‘Freedom, Birdie!’ on YouTube! | Freedom, Birdie!

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