Don’t You Want to be Big and Shiny?

Do you ever feel like you are not shining as brightly as you should or could be?

Do you ever feel like you are keeping yourself small in order to fit in with the place you live in or the people or colleagues in your life?

I do and it’s an uncomfortable feeling. Most of the time I choose to ignore it.

  • Because it’s horrible to think you may be doing yourself a disservice, or failing yourself.
  • It’s disconcerting to feel that the choices you’ve made in life are wrong.
  • And it’s terrifying to think about the changes that may be required to make the feeling go away.

And for special bonus points – it’s also terrifying to imagine change taking place and then THAT’s not right either, and you’ve just ballsed your life up for nothing.

Did I mention it feels yucky, and shitty, and frightening??

What I struggle with is this:

  • Is it a feeling that can be trusted? Is it real?
  • Is feeling this way a guarantee that IF you were to make the changes and aim for something more authentic, that you will succeed and be happy at it?

I’m guessing there isn’t a guarantee and without one making big changes is not a particularly inviting prospect.

If you’re anything like me you will google for success stories (and if I find any I will share them over on Twitter!). But while it’s mildly encouraging, reading about someone else’s successful transition to authenticity is really just a diversion tactic. It’s no guarantee that you will have the same experience and, if I am honest, is reading anybody else’s story ever going to motivate me to actually DO anything?


We need to find the answer, the strength and the confidence within ourselves.

We need to decide that feeling dulled, feeling repressed, feeling small, toned down, boxed in, is unacceptable for us.

It IS terrifying and uncomfortable to think about, but imagine yourself 10, 20, 30 years down the line if you don’t address this feeling properly now. Will you feel fulfilled or regretful?

Would it not be worth at least TRYING things out that MIGHT allow you to fully shine?

I would love to hear from anybody who has had, or does have, this feeling. What did / are you going through and what helped / what do you think would help you?


One thought on “Don’t You Want to be Big and Shiny?

  1. Pingback: ‘Lucky Bitch’: Me, Money + Mental Health | Freedom, Birdie!

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