Here’s a fact about me that you probably don’t know: in 2013 I was amongst the first group in the UK to become a Certified Angel Card Reader, taught by Doreen Virtue herself.
Doreen Virtue is one of my biggest inspirations. In case you don’t know her, she is the creator of many books and oracle decks helping you connect to your angels and other helpers in the spiritual realms, as well as many other aspects of spirituality and healthful living. Her work has helped me immeasurably over the years as I’ve worked with her meditations and angel guidance tools to deal with my depression and anxiety.
And, of course, to help me with the biggest question that I’ve sought an answer to over the years, which I will be talking about more on my blog and YouTube channel in the coming weeks: “what is my life purpose?”.
During the training we learnt to give readings on the most popular subjects that tend to crop up in a tarot reading, such as love and money. For each subject Doreen would call for volunteers and one lucky person would go up on stage and the entire group (including Doreen) would draw cards for them.
So when she asked for a volunteer who needed a reading about their Life Purpose, I shot my hand straight up. Out of the hundreds of people in that room with their hands in the air it was mine that caught Doreen’s eye (which I thank my angels for!) and I was invited to join her on stage.
The first thing I learnt as I stood and made that walk in front of hundreds of pairs of eyes, is how quickly your hands can go from dry to THE SWEATIEST A HAND HAS EVER BEEN. I am a trained actress but that doesn’t mean that I am comfortable speaking in front of an audience as myself. It was pretty mortifying, therefore, when Doreen took my hand, shook it and held it for a good few seconds. But lets not dwell on my sweatiness, nobody wants to hear about that 🙂
Doreen asked me to speak into the microphone. All the other volunteers prior to me had managed to speak confidently and engagingly to Doreen and to the audience. I mumbled something along the lines of this:
“Um… well I just want to know what my life purpose is really. I’ve been working in jobs that make me dreadfully unhappy and I’m just at a loss for what else I could do”.
Doreen then asked the audience to focus on me and my question and pull three cards, and she did the same.
The most memorable part of her reading, for me, was this one particular card, The Hermit. Despite my obvious crapness at speaking in front of a crowd, she pulled The Hermit and said:
“Your life purpose is to lead and teach others, who are going through exactly what you are going through now”.
She said that the light the Hermit holds (above) represents my accumulated knowledge and life experiences and acts as a beacon for others to follow and learn from.
I left the stage with a million questions going through my head: what do I know? what could I teach anybody? I don’t have any answers to anything!
Fast forward 1.5 years and I finally feel I am ready to take on that responsibility. It’s not that I have all the answers, or all the wisdom, but I DO have plenty of experience and more importantly I have the passion to help others who are experiencing what I have been through myself. I feel in a solid-enough place personally now that I can put myself out into the world as a voice to be heard, and risk failure and ridicule and accusations of being a sham. I just want to help others and it feels right that I try.
I’m ready to try.