Facing my resistance

Today I did something brave: I walked back into my studio after a month of dedicated resistance.

It looks a little neglected and messy: it has become our emergency dumping ground for post, boxes that are going to charity, a half finished jigsaw, essentially everything we had to ‘put somewhere’ when my brothers came to stay a couple weeks ago has been chucked into this room!

I sit down at my desk and clear up the paper cuttings and paint brushes, remnants of my last commission. I change my desk calendar from April to May and rearrange the motivational pictures that had fallen down (whenever I don’t use this room for longer than a couple weeks, my vision board falls off the wall – how’s that for a sign!). I open the window and released the stale air back into the Universe.

Despite looking forlorn, the energy in my studio is still glorious 🙂

I can smell my patchouli incense sticks. I can sense the electricity of “this is me, this is my power, this is my dream” coursing through my body, and I can feel my connection to my higher self reawaken.

I open my YouTube subscriptions, and without actually clicking on it Gabrielle Bernstein’s Miracles Now deck reading for this week begins to play. As I watch I feel more connected to the Universe than I have for weeks and I absorb the messages with complete faith that I am meant to hear them and that I can live by them. She talks about letting your life purpose find YOU, not the other way around, and I meet this notion without resistance.

I go on to watch Doreen Virtue’s reading for the week and she explains the feeling of lethargy that has been around since last week, and I feel the guilt I have been feeling about my inactivity and resistance to my work detach and float away.

I take out the components of a project file that I have been meaning to create since January, it has dividers for every day and month of the year and tons of empty plastic folders, together with a beautiful Leonie Dawson calendar which breaks down how you want to feel and what you want to create each month. I assemble it.

Now I feel ready to get serious about shit!

I still have a little bit of resistance to actually start committing ideas or goals into words / pictures. But I am sitting in my studio again because I am ready to face the resistance.

The leap to DOING is significantly smaller now I’ve taken this step. It’s a more bitesize chunk, and I can manage it.

Dear Readers, what have you been resisting lately? Feel free to share, lets support each other and forgive ourselves if we are not yet ready to face it – and lets celebrate if we are! 

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