So after a week and a half of flow and ease, where everything felt natural and right, my motivation hit the floor on Wednesday.
I’m not sticking to my work schedule: I’m getting up late and going up to my studio late, and then I’m not actually doing any work. I’ve not fancied eating breakfast. I’m craving sugar: I’ve gone back a step with my dairy / sugar detox which has made me feel weak because I was doing so well. My skin has gone spotty. I can’t visualise or have new ideas, it’s like my imagination and I have lost our connection.
To be honest it is a struggle just writing this post – I started it yesterday and then gave up because I couldn’t focus, it was just a jumble of ideas that I couldn’t straighten out.
What’s going on! Is this dairy / sugar withdrawal?? I didn’t even know it was possible but the idea just came to me (in meditation, again!) and a google search shows it is a possibility. Symptoms of both dairy and sugar withdrawal can include feelings of depression and mood instability. Yikes! I guess I just have to ride it out and try, TRY to keep going.
I think another issue is that my fear of lack has kicked in. The thought process, simplified, goes like this:
“I’ve produced so much new stuff for my store! But I’ve not made any money yet…
Hmm it’s mid-January… I’m not going to make enough this month am I 😦 (Law of Attraction takes note)
I should make some stuff that I can charge more for! (Which would be creating from a source of fear, not a source of love)
My imagination is broken 😦 I haven’t got any ideas and now I can’t visualise money coming to me either. I’ve wrecked everything!” (All kinds of wrong!)
Whilst last week I discovered how wonderful it feels learning to listen to my higher self with regards to working in full alignment with my values and interests, I think this week has offered the lesson of acknowledging my physical and mental health needs.
It’s a lot to take on all at once: gradually converting to veganism and sugar free, reopening my Etsy store as my sole income stream AND trying to think only positive abundant thoughts!
It’s scary how subtle the shift can be from faith to fear. And it seems so much harder to shift BACK to faith then it is slipping out of it.
I guess that’s the journey 🙂