It’s Sunday evening and I’m not filled with dread about work tomorrow. I know, I am very lucky!
As of tomorrow I am working on my own, for myself. Dreaming up ideas that are 100% my own and bringing them to life with my own two hands. Stocking up my Etsy store, dusting off my oracle cards, submitting myself for auditions and exploring a number of other ways I could bring an income in.
It feels good, but scary. Actually if I’m honest, I feel more scared than excited. This opportunity has come about from necessity (and obviously desire) rather than good planning on my part. I have the ideas and the dreams, but I’m unsure I have the self-discipline. I suck at structuring myself. I don’t have a Business Plan, or savings. And did I mention I’m scared?? Yep, I’m terrified to the point of paralysis of trying and failing, and winding up in debt.
I’m reading a brilliant book called “Ask & It Is Given” by Esther and Jerry Hicks which is about the Law of Attraction, and so I know this way of thinking is not going to bring me the outcome I desire. In order to succeed, I have to be a vibrational match to the vibration of the success I desire.
And at this moment, I am fearful of not making enough money to fulfil my financial obligations, so although I have put the desire out there for financial abundance I am not vibrating at a frequency that will allow me to receive it. I am actually attracting not making enough money instead.
So, I’m aim to start each new day as Danielle LaPorte does; either by praying, meditating or saying thank you. I figure I could also start with a visualisation of what I DO want. That way, I can begin my day putting out the right vibes.
It’s a MAMMOTH task for me as someone who is an Olympic-level Worrier and who isn’t especially confident. But acknowledging that is something, right? Plus I’d be a moron to suppose that I’m the only Etsy seller to ever worry about my future / finances / “good enough-ness”.
To finish on a note of glorious synchronicity, the Universe has heard me and has just sent a gentle reminder of how silly it is to worry about every conceivable thing my imagination can dream up to worry about before it’s happened, via my iTunes Shuffle – “I’m so worried” by Monty Python. Have a listen 🙂