I’ve not written for a little while. I’ve been a little more active over on my YouTube channel, but I do miss writing and connecting with my readers here.
I made a video last week if you want to see me talk about what’s going on (at the end of this post).
Essentially though, I’ve been through a break-up.
I’ve thankfully left the stage now where I couldn’t string a sentence together, couldn’t remember to eat, and couldn’t stop crying and feeling awful.
I haven’t yet reached the stage where I’m ready to start thinking logistically about what I’m going to do next. Currently I am staying with family and I have 2 months temp work until Christmas but beyond that no job, no savings, no home.
I wanted to be with my boyfriend for life and, even though I retain a glimmer of hope we may reunite, I need to face facts this may not happen.
At the moment I’m just trying to enjoy or at least get through each day because I find thinking about my future overwhelmingly frightening.
I’ve lost the person who has lived through my mental health challenges with me over the last 7 years and has been my biggest source of comfort.
I’ve been told by my very unsympathetic GP, that I will not qualify for any financial support as I am “not ill enough”, so I fear and anticipate that I’m going to destroy my health trying to support myself and Baxter financially.
I don’t know how things are going to pan out.
And I’m not ready yet to see that as an exciting prospect.
But hopefully, I will get there.